MOTORHOME OF OUR DREAMS: EXPEDITION TO TEXAS, LEAVIN' ON A JET PLANE...

THE FLIGHT TO TEXAS
Plane

LAST UPDATED ON 2005-December-19!

**HEADS UP, GANG!**
WEB BASED TRAVEL AGENTS Entering the search string "airline tickets" --pdf --rtf --doc" in Google produced no less than 3,390,000+ hits! Clearly, if you use this strategy you need to pare down the field a bit. See our Google tips webpage for hints and suggestions.
SAFETY NET! But what would happen if the mortgage was late? Did we have to make the seller's October US $1,000 payment PLUS miss our flight and forfeit US $765 worth of tickets? We couldn't do anything about the October payment in a case like this. We'd committed ourselves. However, before buying the tickets we made very sure that we had the option of postponing the departure date if absolutely necessary. The bad news is that we would have had to pay an additional US $200 for the service, but that was still a lot better than losing US $765!
YA JUST GOTTA LOVE CUSTOMS! In Canada, when flying to the USA, one actually goes through US Customs at the Canadian end as you depart, not at the US end as you arrive. This has several direct ramifications. If for some reason you can't get through Customs (e.g., you're a known felon) they don't have to worry about shipping you back to some distant, foreign land. They merely throw you out the door! This "pre-clearance" reduces the size of the stampede on the US end and the resulting time required to clear Customs by a huge factor, making both travellers and Customs agents a lot easier to deal with. It allows US Customs agents and their families to live and work in far away, exotic places like Calgary. (Say what you will, but many are convinced that's a LOT better than living in a Chicago neighbourhood and working at O'Hare!)
GAS CAN BLUES Hindsight is always 20/20. Having lived through that episode we now realize that the wise thing would have been for us to say something like the following as we drove away from our home. "Say, how are you set for gas? Why don't you pull over to that gas bar and let us fill the tank for you as thanks for driving us around?" Among other things it would have: Drawn attention to the gas tank in a politically correct manner. Allowed us to show our appreciation for driving us around. Avoided any marital stress on the chauffer's part. Avoided a lot of stress on our part.
CUSTOMS, REVISITED Of all the things that you're not supposed to do as you go through US Customs (and there are a lot of things not to do!) close to the top of the list is carrying more than about $2,000 in negotiables! (Although bottomless charge and debit cards are just fine.) Their first, knee jerk reaction is to assume that you're on a drug buying junket. At that point your money may be confiscated and you may end up in a back room being grilled by two burly DEA agents. To regain your freedom you will have to be REALLY good at talking yourself out of dicey situations or know a good attorney! Getting your money back might very likely require an attorney and a year-long court battle before you can convince a judge that you're legit. In the meantime, the only way you may be allowed back into the USA is in a jail cell! If you must carry large amounts of money across the border, you ABSOLUTELY MUST also carry as much documentation as possible to help substantiate your story. We carried a 3-ring binder with copies of all sorts of documents in it. Included were: Copies of the advertising for the motorhome. Brochures, floorplans and specifications downloaded from the manufacturer's website for the make, model and year in question. Documentation of our mortgage to acquire the money to pay for it. Proof of insurance for purposes of driving it back to Canada. Whatever exportation /importation documents we could garner from the two Customs services. These included dated, hand written notes of phone conversations with agent's names, information downloaded from the Internet and any brochures we could acquire from their local offices. Ancillary details like kennel reservations for the dogs during our absence, proof of car rentals and motel reservations in the destination city, etc. None of these actually proved that we weren't on a drug buying expedition (How would one go about proving what they're NOT going to do?), but they would all lend credence to our story. It also helps if you don't look like a derelict or junky! Lastly and most importantly, you must absolutely declare to US Customs, up front, that you are carrying the negotiables. If they don't ask, you need to aggressively get the point across to them. If you don't and they subsequently find the cheques, ... Well, we weren't kidding about the DEA agents, the lawyer or jail! YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!

THE PROBLEM IN A NUTSHELL

Among the jillion things that had to be done in preparation for the trip, one of the key projects was arranging for flights to Austin, Texas, and maybe return in case the deal fell through. This is a chronicle of that most important sub-project.

"TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE"

We were caught in a bit of a bind. If we scheduled our departure for Texas before we knew we had the money to buy the motorhome, we might very likely lose the airfare if the deal fell through for some reason, e.g., if we failed to get a mortgage of sufficient amount. However, the longer we waited to reserve our tickets, the greater would be their cost. We managed to hold off until we were fairly sure that the Land Titles Office would produce the paperwork on schedule so that we could get the mortgage in time for a flight to Texas. Even so, we waited until virtually the last minute to reserve the tickets.

A critical question was "Where do we buy the tickets?" We could have gone to a local travel agent, but our experience (mostly from scheduling trips as part of our jobs) was that they were relatively expensive compared to the Web based services. Mind you, if you had a complicated itinerary or were travelling to really foreign places, they're probably a good idea because of the services, experience and advice they have to offer. But a simple, surgical strike into the heart of the USA and back could hardly justify the hundred dollars or more difference over Web based agents.

Thus, Stan cranked up the old computer and visited the websites of several such agents. Among them were Expedia, Yahoo! Travel, BizRate, Cheap Tickets, Orbitz, Ticket Pilot and Travelocity. (There were others, too. Lots of others! See the sidebar for more information.)

If the truth be known, they're all more or less clones of each other, and the prices of the ones we checked all seemed to be within twenty dollars. Thus, we chose Travelocity merely because we'd used them once before in a former life. If you have a different preference, go for it. Smile. Be happy.

There were several decisions that we had to make:

One way or return flights?: Why it might cost US $267 to fly one way to Austin and only US $115 to fly the same distance back (i.e., return fare was US $382) must remain one of the greater mysteries of the late 20^th/early 21^st centuries, but it's true. The fact is that we could save $115 for each of the two tickets if we absolutely knew we wouldn't need the return flight. (But talk about jinxing yourself!) The fact is that we couldn't bet on it, so we bought return tickets.
What day were we going to leave?: If we weren't in Austin on October 1^st with money in hand to pay for the motorhome we'd promised the owner that we'd make her October payment to the loan company, about US $1,000. Obviously the absolute deadline was October 1^st. But we wanted to be there a day or two in advance so we could give the motorhome a good inspection to make sure it's what we really wanted, especially because of Marguerite's special requirements. That moved the deadline forward to September 30^th instead. Lastly, we wanted to arrive in advance of that date so we could get a good night's sleep before viewing the motorhome. Now we're talking September 29^th. We're not leaving a large margin for error here! We decided to leave on Saturday, September 27^th. Why? Because if we didn't have everything in place by then there was nothing to be gained by waiting until Sunday, September 29^th and we could use the extra day or two to visit the area around Austin and think serious thoughts about buying the motorhome.
Which flight do we take?: Marguerite's handicap required that we take a flight with as few plane changes as possible and with an airline that was as handicapper friendly as possible. In addition, we didn't want to have to get up at 4:00 AM to catch a flight that arrived at 11:00 PM! Timing, indeed, was of the essence as well. Ultimately, we chose American Airlines flight 694 to Dallas/Ft. Worth (DFW), then AA flight 1494 to Austin (AUS). We'd leave Calgary at about 3:30 PM and arrive in Austin about 10:00 PM.
So, when should we buy the tickets?: We waited until September 16^th, the eleventh day before departure. Thus we still got reasonably good rates, could be that much more certain that everything was going well with the financing on our end and we still had a one day grace period before the prices ballooned.

The total cost of our airfare to Austin, Texas was US $765.36. In Canadian dollars that was about CDN $1225.

Things are still looking very good!

GLORIOUS DEPARTURE

Finally, Saturday arrived. We'd gotten the mortgage in time to get the cheques (in spite of the fiasco at the bank) and everything was in place. We'd packed our suitcases the evening before and went to bed with visions of motorhomes dancing in our head. We didn't get a lot of sleep. We were champing at the bit!

We'd made arrangements with an associate (who's identity will remain confidential for reasons that will become apparent) to pick us up at 1:00 PM on Saturday, September 27^th and deliver us to the airport. We wanted to make sure that we would arrive in plenty of time to deal with US Customs and still make our flight.

We live less than about two kilometres (1¼ miles) from the nearest corner of the airport, and only about five kilometres from the departure terminal, and that route has gas stations (known as "gas bars" locally) planted about every 500 metres. (Can you see where this is going now?) The problem is that the closest route is also the most congested one. So our chauffer chose to take us by the "northern route." It was a lot less congested but required driving some distance around the north end of the airport through relatively open, Alberta prairie. That's when we discovered that our chauffer's spouse had failed to put gas in the tank the evening before and we found ourselves stranded at an intersection "out in the boonies." Even then luck was with us because we could see a gas bar (the only one on that route it turns out) less than a kilometre ahead. Without too much cursing (and we hope not too much strain on their marital relationship) our chauffer jogged up to the station and came back with a small can of gas. Suddenly we were mobile again and we made it to the airport in plenty of time.

GROOVIN' AT THE AIRPORT

We were dropped off at the international departures area, found a wheelchair for Marguerite and made our way to the American Airlines wickets (another holdover from mother England). As we approached we passed a counter with Custom's declaration forms. We were supposed to fill one out before we went through US Customs. No problemo! We'd only brought along two suitcases each plus two carry-on bags and two checks totalling about CDN $120,000!

Everything went smoothly until we got halfway through Customs and an agent (who was apparently specifically charged with the responsibility) dissected our declaration form and noted the part about the cheques. We were immediately greeted with a stern, even gruff, "What're these for?" Of course, we sang like two canaries and Stan, reaching for the 3-ring binder, volunteered to give a preplanned dog and pony show about our escapade.

We didn't look like druggies and he'd apparently been a party to one of these lengthy presentations before. As soon as the American Airlines attendant confirmed our allegation he merely waved us by. Only after we were out of sight did Stan wipe the sweat from his brow!

ON THE WINGS OF ANGELS

The remainder of the flights were unremarkable except for two issues.

American Airlines and airport personnel.: Everybody associated with the airlines and the airports treated us fabulously! They were all extremely helpful, even to the point of pushing Marguerite's wheelchair from point to point and attending her in a washroom. (Generally she's self-sufficient, it's the doors that pose a significant obstacle.) Someone was with us at almost every moment. You'd think they didn't trust us alone with the silverware!
DFW is a truly VAST place!: Our arrival from Calgary was in one building and our departure for Austin was in another. To traverse the intervening distance we were obliged to take a small vehicle that resembled a golf cart on steroids, holding a driver and as many as eight or ten passengers. The entire route followed an indoor passageway resembling a concourse in a shopping mall with a multitude of food, souvenir and other vendors lining the inside walls and various airline waiting rooms and staging areas the outer. As we rode along the passageways the driver frequently called out "'Scuse, please!" in a booming voice to alert pedestrians of our approach. DFW was almost worth the trip by itself. Stan thinks that someday he's going to return to DFW just to hang out and cruise the shops!

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COPYRIGHT NOTICE

This page was initially created on 2004-February-14.
The last revision occurred on 2005-December-19.